Culled From The Text Message Files

• Learning about tally sampling in class.  Want to go to the red light district to practice.  "Tally ho!"
• Lego now makes Prince of Persia sets.  My childhood is dead.
• I think that "I'm Up Before Noon - Quit Complaining" would be a good title for my autobiography.
• I will hear nothing against the cuteness of wombats.
• You are the lolrus. ["Ku ku ka choo?"] Actually more like graagle hurk hurk sklaap, but close.
• Muffins?  Muffins!
• Hey look, it's me making you feel uncomfortable, confused, and vaguely violated!
• You are a mermaid until proven guilty.
• It would be sad if you froze to death alone and unloved in the mean streets of Salem.
• Raging Goblin?  More like Enraging Goblin, amirite?
• Decaf coffee: slightly less necessary than genocide.
• I am a real person (some exceptions may apply).  I am not a Rolodex.
• I am Captain McClassy.