The Wade Files: 2007

The best nuggets of the Facebook wall posts I inflicted on dearest Wade in 2007.

• It strikes me that Schrödinger's camera could be singularly useless. You'd never know if it was working or not.
• Chicago? Fun. Why? How long? Tentacles?
• You should start writing your papers in hexadecimal. Nobody could read it, and would thus assume that it is great.
• I wanna be N00ba the Hutt!
• If you die, I am following you down to the underworld, and dragging you back to the land of the living. You cannot escape from entertaining me that easily.
• Q: Why did the chicken get blocked from the message board? 
A: For posting bukk-bukk-bukkake!
 ROFLWAFFELS!
• What's the worst Willamette-themed merchandise? 
Bearscat porn. 
I was proud of myself when I came up with that.
• The cat is not only dead, but radioactively dead.
• Next Halloween you should be a Tusken Wanker.
• Most frightening special move ever: "BALLSACK ATTACK!"
 In other news, if I ever become a mugger, I'm going to have my weapon of choice be the Trouser Snake. A live snake that pops out and bites people when you unzip your fly. Tell me that wouldn't be terrifying.