Assorted Thoughts 17: Fricking Finally Updating Edition

• I kind of want to put a couple playlists on my iPod purely to confuse anyone looking through it.  Title one "Dismembering Hookers Mix" and the other "Fleeing From The Cops Soundtrack."  Perhaps, for added effect, fill the first one with smooth jazz and the second with some really upbeat, happy pop music.
• I know I have left scars on at least three people from school.  The pharaohs built pyramids to ensure they were never forgotten.  I build scar tissue.
• Further adventures with Ben's gay phone: when trying to type "steer," T9 wants it to be "queer."
• Whenever I see a particularly amusingly wrong book at a bookstore (NASA EQUALS NAZIS, IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW), I definitely start humming Trololol under my breath.
• Lego: the number one reason I should never be allowed to have a debit card.
• If you see a sign promoting some charity with the title "Make an impact on an abused child's life!" and your first thought is, "What, with my fist?" you're probably a bad person.  I'm a bad person.
• My brain is upsetting.  There is absolutely no reason to ever have thoughts like "Dildos made of whales!"
• I don't know any sluts.  I do, however, know some romantic overachievers.
• I heard an ad on the radio invoking the Dalai Lama to promote a web site called "values.com."  I was sort of under the impression that the leader of the Tibetan Buddhists was not really a commercial property.  Once again, the internet educates me.
• If I had a Bag of Holding, the only things in it would be books and snacks.
• It's amazing how hard it is to be funny enough to make blog posts when you only sleep in your own bed for maybe six nights over the course of at least 30 days.