Assorted Thoughts 33: I Think Cockroaches Should Make SKREEEEEK Noises

• I propose a new rule for international diplomacy: whenever a major world power accuses a smaller nation that can in no way pose any serious danger to the major nation of being an existential threat, the major nation has lost the policy debate and is to be laughed out of the chamber without any action being taken on the policy they recommend.
• That means you, China arguing with Taiwan, and you too, United States curbstomping the Middle East.  Go sit in the corner and think about what you just said.
• Given the quantity of coffee and other caffeinated beverages I consume there, going in to the lab I work in is like giving my kidneys strength and conditioning training.
• Chicken and egg problem for the day (given that it's relatively simple to solve the original problem by applying a little evolutionary biology): does my cynicism help me survive being a Red Sox fan, or did it arise as a result of being a Red Sox fan?
• There is a stationary exercise bike equipped with a Google Earth connection so you can pretend you're riding the Tour de France.  That might be the saddest thing I've ever heard of.
• Depressing pickup lines, volume XXVII: "I'm usually a lone ranger, but I'm looking for a sidekick tonight."
• In totally not at all related I swear news, I have two strategies for dealing with women: PANIC and MORE PANIC.
• I have discovered a truly marvelous joke, which this blog is too narrow to contain.
• Chock Full o' Rabies is simultaneously the best and worst coffee.
• There is an ecological phenomenon known as an Alternative Stable State (ask me and I can tell you about it!  Really!  I like these things!).  Unfortunately, every time you want to talk about them, you have to write the full thing out.  Way to think about acronyms when you named it, guys.