2012 Political Sloganeering

With a little help from my friends, I have helpfully compiled this list of potential slogans for the candidates in the 2012 Presidential election.

Obama 2012:

• Because I don't want to go to war in Iran too.
• Mediocrity or the Dark Ages?  The choice is clear.
• At least you won't be forced to drink the Kool-Aid.
• The alternatives speak for themselves.

Romney 2012:

• What would you like me to tell you?
• Slimy politicians with negotiable principles: what America needs most today.

Cain 2012:

• [insert Islamophobic slur here]
• Anyone who tells you that running a pizza chain is not adequate preparation for the presidency is probably an illegal immigrant.

Perry 2012:

• The good news you hear is the sound of the cross bashing your skull in.

Bachmann 2012:

• Why should Afghanistan have all the Taliban fun?
• God told my husband to tell me to tell you that Uncle Sam wants you to run gays over with a tractor.
• Bringing America a rosy new dawn by the light from the burning books and gays.

Paul 2012:

• If I tell you that I voted for him, will you shut up on the internet?
• Still running, still irrelevant, still with the annoying fanboys.

2012 election, general:

• The world's ending anyway, so really, what does it matter?