Assorted Thoughts 36: Random Arrangements Of Characters Counts As A Post Title, Right?

• My usual tactic when picking what forum topics to read is to look for those most likely to contain flamewars and amusing conflicts.  This probably a warning sign about my personality.
• I would like to write a book called "My Faults Are Your Fault: An Introduction to Inheritance Patterns for Rebellious Teens."
• During some serious political debate, I want to see someone rebut a point by saying "[Opponent], I want to bear your children.  By which I mean I want to capture them and feed them to bears."
• The concept of a "gag gift" becomes rather more disconcerting when you have friends who are into bondage.
• While sitting at the gate waiting for a flight, I noticed a dot-matrix printer at one of the agents' counters spewing out a constant stream of pages.  It was like listening to history.  I'm strangely glad that there are still these dinosaurian relics of the age of green-on-black screen computers and 5" floppy disks living amongst us and howling like mechanical banshees while they print.
• Also, tearing the strips off each side of the page is still great fun.
• Dear lady sitting across from me in the airport lounge: bouncing your crying kid on your knee is not shutting him up.  It is merely adding a weird vibrato effect to the cries.  While this is appreciated as a change of pace, I'd still prefer you sedating the damn creature for the duration of forever.
• Your child is also very ugly.  Just thought you should know.
• Traveling over the holidays is an exercise in being punched in the dick by all the worst aspects of humanity.
• When taking a Greyhound-esque bus for an extended period, it's almost worse to have wifi that's really slow than no wifi at all.