Assorted Thoughts 37: I Have To Look Up The Volume Number Every Damn Time Edition

• Christmas Eve 2010: I watched The Exorcist.  Christmas Eve 2011: I watched the X-Files.  Christmas Eve 2012: I plan to watch… the apocalypse?
• A lamprey who writes mystery novels: Agnatha Christie.
• As far as I can tell, you could basically write Christmas thank you notes entirely in lorem ipsum and it'd be okay, because the substance is so much less important than the fact you actually sent something.  I plan to test this on my mother.  If you don't hear from me anytime soon, it's possible I was killed and dumped by the side of the road.
• I hate the faux Old English suffixed E.  Besides the fact it's inaccurate and obnoxiously pretentious, it is quite capable of detracting from the ambiance, rather than adding to it.  I certainly wouldn't want to eat at Ye Olde Downe-Towne Brewe Pube.
• "Waiter!  There's a hair in my soueeeurrrgh."
• "Did you read the name over the door?"
• My grandfather, who retired after over half a century practicing medicine, shared with me an aphorism he created which I think deserves passing on: The rungs of the ladder of advancement in academia are the handles of the knives in the backs of your associates.
• While it certainly has some noble effects in helping the poor get the things they need to survive, I can't help but be struck by the idea that dollar stores are the ultimate expression of American capitalism.  Endless amounts of cheap plastic crap, with some good deals buried amongst the rest, entombed upon bleak shelves in drab strip malls under dim fluorescent lighting.
• Some artists produce work so distinctive it can't be mistaken for anyone else.  When you see a painting of melting breasts draped over a country landscape, you know you're looking at the work of Salvador Dali Parton.