Assorted Thoughts 9: Is My Well Of Humor Running Dry Already?

• What does it mean for my life that I go directly from thinking about a Magic deck I could build to taking swings in the local batting cage?  Am I allowed to have this sort of amusement duality?
• Don't get me wrong, I'm a safe and old-womany driver.  I still treat the "caution, curves ahead, you should slow down" signs as less of a warning than a challenge.
• I will happily stay up until 3 AM if it means I get to watch Australian Rules Football, or cricket if I really don't have any other option.
• I am apparently the best and most appreciated table.  The compliments (?) people pay me.
• I've definitely spent too much time thinking about airplanes.  A hundred miles of distance seems really short after spending a while in a situation where 300 miles per hour is normal.
• Conversations you only hear after 3:30 AM: "You're punching my tits." "You're in my armpit."
• I was reading a book about cannibalism and it mentioned that the ancient Chinese had a method of pickling humans for consumption called "t'so."  That puts a whole new spin on the standard Chinese takeout dish of General Tso's chicken.
• In related news, books on cannibalism are clearly the best choice for mealtime reading matter.
• I never want to visit Drain, Oregon.  I hear it's a real sewer.
• Merlin, Oregon, on the other hand, seems like a magical place for a vacation.
• It's a pretty clear sign you've been playing too much Magic when you're going to sleep and realize that a) you've been playing a game in your head, and b) you just told your imaginary opponent "go" out loud.  It's worse when you're staying at a friend's house and they are trying to sleep in the same room.
• I cannot think of a sport less suited to radio sportscasting than golf.  Even after listening to some (due to lack of anything interesting, like baseball, or semi-competitive snail jousting) I cannot comprehend how anyone gains enjoyment or information from it.
• I would like to someday be known as the Great Equivocator.
• When I am driving around town, I am usually muttering/talking/yelling to myself.  It's usually either a) entirely incoherent babbling, b) ridiculously obscene, or most of the time, c) both.  I may or may not have run over the crazy guy on the street corner and treated him as a powerup.
• Almost 60% of the bulleted items in this list start with the letter I.  This seems like something that should be mentioned.