Goals in Life

• Register for a whale-watching cruise; show up carrying a harpoon.
• Use the Dead Kennedys' "Let's Lynch The Landlord" as the ringtone for when the landlord calls.
• Immediately upon driving across the state line into California, crank up the Dead Kennedys' "California Über Alles" on the stereo.  ACCOMPLISHED 01/31/2011
• Invade Russia on my birthday, June 22; preferably accomplish by dashing across the border in a remote area, making a few faces, then running back onto safe ground.
• Use "p#uckd45y54dm1n" as a computer account password; forget password and request recovery in person.
• Breed pedigree velociraptors.
• Finally ask out that one girl I like.
• Print bumper stickers saying "I'm Compensating" and affix them to SUVs.
• Keep Gollum as a pet.