The Wade Files: 2009

 Wade's Facebook wall: my personal brain-puke dumping ground.

• You know what'd be awesome? Piñatas full of bacon.

• What's a Rastafarian's favorite religious observance? 
Hash Wednesday!

• Happy birthday. Make sure you dispose safely of the hookers.
• So, next time the internet flakes out, I think I need to start a prison diary.
• Looking through my spam folder on Gmail, I found the best spam subject line ever:
 "This night your bedroom will be jungles and you wild tiger!"
• I just realized how much the RIAA is like Mario in its quest to shut down the Pirate Bay. They beat the Sweden world, but what do they get?
  "Nice try RIAA! But our servers are in another castle!"
• Have you heard about the new Pixar movie? It's going to be about a lovable baby fox and its attempts to stop evil developers bulldozing its forest. They're going to call it "Fur-E."
• New TV show idea:
 Pimp My Bride.
• So I have come up with a plan to create a critical mass of stupidity and destroy the internet. Combine the clientele of Yahoo Answers and YouTube. Call it YouTube Answers. There will be so much idiocy and flaming that the internet will self-destruct.
• Have you ever noticed how that calling Dungeons & Dragons a "roll-playing game" is just as accurate as saying it's a "role-playing game"?
• If it hadn't been for Cotton-Eyed Joe / 
I'd've gotten laid a long time ago / 
Who did you cum on
 / Who did you blow
 / Who did you cum on Cotton-Eyed Joe
• Least frightening serial killer ever: 
Hannibal Leper.
• I have finally come up with a title for my long-awaited zombie porn flick: "Night of the Throbbing Dead."  
I shall release it via a website which I will call "Captain Falcon's Castle of Fap."
• So, is ragequitting Wii Sports a) tragic, or b) hilarious?