Mostly Cribbed From Conversations (Assorted Thoughts 3)

• I almost want to become a zombie just so I have an excuse to chew on people.

• I can't be the only one who wonders what person tastes like, right?

• I want to invent a Resurrection Machine purely to revive the Marquis de Sade and use him as a desk chair and conversation piece.

• I would sell my entire family into slavery if in return I could use a Tyrannosaurus as my primary means of transport.

• PepsiCo. has apparently decided that if you want to buy a six-pack of their products in bottled form, you want to drink a liter at a time (16.9 ounces).  This is a travesty.  When I want my Mountain Dew caffeine fix, I want to have at least 20 ounces for maximum twitchiness.  If you gave me the choice of preventing the carnage in Darfur or getting my radioactivity-flavored caffeine in a size larger than a liter, I know where my priorities lie.

• When ninjas need a sudden escape, they throw a smoke bomb and vanish in the confusion.  I take a similar approach when conversations turn in a way I don't like.  I say something incredibly odd and/or tasteless, and bugger off while people are still trying to figure out what the hell is wrong with me.

• Best TL;DR I've ever been able to use online: "TL;DR don't enable manwhoring."

• I've decided that in future, if I'm asked what my primary goal in life is, I'm going to reply "Minimal suffering."